Cultivating the Insight of Interbeing: A Path to Deep Connection
We are more alike than we realize
In a world that often encourages us to be overly individualistic and separate, Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings on interbeing offer a profound way to see ourselves and the world with clarity and compassion. Interbeing is the insight that nothing exists independently; everything is interconnected. This understanding invites us to move beyond the illusion of a separate self and embrace the deep reality of our interdependence with all beings and the natural world.
Understanding Interbeing
Winter trees in Yosemite Valley
The term "interbeing" was coined by Thich Nhat Hanh to express the idea that all things exist in relation to one another. Consider a simple sheet of paper. In that paper, we can see the tree from which it was made, the sunlight that nurtured the tree, the rain that watered it, and the soil that provided nutrients. We can also see the logger who cut the tree, the person who made the paper, and even the food that sustained these workers. Nothing arises independently—everything is woven together in an intricate web of life.
When we cultivate the insight of interbeing, we begin to recognize that our happiness and suffering are not isolated experiences. The well-being of one person is linked to the well-being of all. This realization can transform the way we relate to others, leading to greater compassion, understanding, and peace.
Practicing Interbeing in Daily Life
Bringing interbeing into our daily lives means shifting how we think, speak, and act. Here are a few of my favorite ways to cultivate this insight:
1. Mindful Breathing and Presence Pauses
Taking a moment to breathe mindfully helps us reconnect with the present moment. As we breathe in and out, we can remind ourselves that the air we breathe is shared by all beings and release unnecessary tension and baggage. This simple practice can awaken a sense of connection and gratitude.
2. Looking Deeply into Our Conflicts
When we encounter difficulties, we can pause and reflect on how we are interconnected. Instead of seeing someone as separate or as an opponent, we can recognize that their joys and struggles are linked to our own. This shift in perspective can open the door to greater empathy and reconciliation.
3. Consuming Mindfully
Spring wildflowers are starting to pop in my neck of the woods
Everything we consume—whether food, media, or material goods—affects the world around us. By making mindful choices, we can ensure that our consumption supports the well-being of all. Eating a plant-based meal, reducing waste, and supporting ethical businesses are ways we can honor interbeing in our daily decisions.
4. Cultivating Loving Speech and Deep Listening
The way we communicate can either strengthen our sense of connection or deepen our sense of division. Practicing loving speech and deep listening allows us to bridge gaps and build meaningful relationships. When we truly listen to others with an open heart, we affirm our shared humanity.
5. Appreciating the Beauty of Nature
Spending time in nature is a powerful way to experience interbeing. Watching the waves of the ocean, feeling the warmth of the sun, or walking through a forest can remind us that we are not separate from nature—we are nature. The health of the planet is our health.
First Mindfulness Training (Practice): Reverence For Life
The following contemplations are inspired by the “Five Mindfulness Trainings,” originally written by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, and shared with me by the monastics at Plum Village Deer Park whom I recently practiced meditation with at the YMCA Estes Park in Colorado, USA. I am committed to practicing & reciting the Five Mindfulness Trainings in community once per month and sharing them here on my blog home.
I am feeling called towards the practice of interbeing right now, in a more broad way, as we in the U.S. are navigating a difficult political landscape that has led to much upheaval. Many of my friends and loved ones are triggered daily by fear and anger. Personally, I’d rather ignore what’s going on, and I’m not sure that’s the best response either. I learned at a young age how to put my head down and focus on my own day-to-day life rather than worry about leaders and situations that seem far beyond my control. Yet, I don’t want to ignore reality. I want to be open to sharing the pain where appropriate and consider my own part in this current reality and beyond. How can I help healing happen? There is always wisdom and learnings to be had. I’m dedicating the next month or so to contemplating and learning more about the concept of interbeing.
As you read each of the contemplations on interbeing, pause after each sentence and take 1-3 deep breaths and connect with how these statements might connect with you on a personal level.
Contemplations
Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating the insight of interbeing and compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals.
I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to support any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life. (I prefer to contemplate this more loosely as…I am determined not to be violent, not to let others be violent, and not to support any act of violence in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life.)
Seeing that harmful actions arise from anger, fear, greed, and intolerance, which in turn come from dualistic and discriminative thinking, I will cultivate openness, non-discrimination, and non-attachment to views in order to transform violence, fanaticism, and dogmatism in myself and in the world.
Transforming Society Through Interbeing (I Hope!)
When we live with the insight of interbeing, we naturally become more engaged in alleviating suffering in the world. We see that social justice, environmental sustainability, and inner peace are not separate struggles but interconnected movements. Taking action—whether through advocacy, service, or simply by being present for your loved ones or someone in need—becomes an expression of our deep understanding that we do not exist alone.
If you want to spend more time contemplating the insight of interbeing, I have found the book, Love for Imperfect Things by Haemin Sunim to be a very digestible wisdom guide on Interbeing. Click here for a more detailed review of the book and suggestions for connecting with interbeing in your day-to-day life.
The Gift of Interbeing
Interbeing is not just a philosophical concept; it is an invitation to live fully and lovingly. When we see ourselves in others and others in ourselves, we break down barriers and awaken to a greater sense of belonging. As Thich Nhat Hanh beautifully said, “We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.”
By cultivating the insight of interbeing, we nurture a heart that embraces all beings and leads with love and compassion. And in doing so, we help create a world rooted in peace, understanding, and true connection.
May we all walk this path with mindfulness and joy.
